Yields 50 Servings
5 Pounds Hamburger 2 Tbl sp. Granulated Garlic 78 Ounces Bush's Hot Chili Beans 2 Tbl sp. Parsley 204 Ounces Bush's Pinto Beans 2 Tbl sp. Chili Pepper 42 Ounces Light Red Kidney Beans 2 Tbl sp. Mrs. Dash (Original) 102 Ounces Whole Canned Tomatoes 1 Tbl sp. Red Pepper 3 Chopped Onions 1 Tbl sp. Cayenne Red Pepper 12 Ounces Mushrooms 1 Tbl sp. Paprika 1 Chopped Red Bell Pepper 1/2 Tsp. White Pepper 1 Chopped Fresh Jalapeno~ 1 small can Reflective paint 1 Chopped Habanero Pepper 3 cases Your Favorite Beer 2 Chopped Mexi-Peppers First, things first. Put the beer on ice before you attempt this recipe!
Open a beer and take a good swig or two and reflect on what you are about to accomplish.
Next, start frying the hamburger on medium, stirring occasionally. You don't want it browned too much, just cooked gently.
Take another sip or two of your beer.
Chop all of the onions and peppers and add them to the hamburger as it cooks. Be careful with the Habanero pepper, as it can irritate your skin.
Add all of the spices to the hamburger. Add the mushrooms. Cook this concoction gently for at least a half hour to thoroughly release the oils and the flavor from the peppers and other spices, alternately sipping your beer and stirring the hamburger so it cooks evenly (the hamburger, not the beer).
As the hamburger cooks, open all of the cans of beans and tomatoes into a (very) large pot. Drain the liquid from the beans (and save) before putting them in the pot, or your chili will be too soupy. Simmer the beans on low. Don't forget to stir the hamburger.
Take another sip of beer (you should be on your second one by now).
When it's done (about the end of your second beer), pour the hamburger into the bean pot and stir it gently until it is thoroughly mixed.
Let it simmer on very low heat (or else you'll scorch the bottom) for at least another half hour. Add some of the liquid you saved from the beans if you like your chili thinner.
While the chili simmers, grab another beer and the reflective paint and go paint your house number on the curb in front of your house so the fire trucks can easily find it later. No sense taking any unnecessary risks.
Invite 30 to 50 of your closest friends and neighbors over to help you eat it. Otherwise you'll have leftovers for about 3 months.
Or for smaller gatherings just divide the ingredients accordingly.
Larry's Chernobyl Chili recipe is supplied as is. The author disclaims all warranties, expressed or implied, including, without limitation, the warranties of merchantability and of fitness for any purpose. The author assumes no liability for damages, direct or consequential, which may result from the use of this recipe.
Larry's Chernobyl Chili recipe, copyright (c) 1996. All rights reserved.
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